Candy Monster on the Beach: Kenzo – Aqua Kenzo Pour Homme Review

On picture: Kenzo – Aqua Kenzo Pour Homme – Eau de Toilette – 50ml – circa 2018

Aqua Kenzo Pour Homme is one of those perfumes whose existence flabbergasts me. The whole concept behind this fragrance is that of a mix between an aquatic and a gourmand –two olfactory families that have nothing in common, often standing as exact opposites in many fragrance classifications. It was advertised as a new interpretation of fresh and watery notes (along with a picture of a rhino swiming at the ocean floor…). Now, the idea sounds quite interesting, isn’t it? It received less-than-stellar reviews, and I do comprehend why.

To better explain this scent, please picture this situation: you were invited to spend an afternoon with a friend, his brother, sister-in-law and nephew on the seaside. You arrive at the beach with your friend and as both of you approach the family, a strong ozonic, watery, peppery sea-breezy smell hits you. They already prepared the towels, some retractable chairs and a cooler full of sparkling wine sans alcohol because there is a kid, remember?

As you take a seat, ready to enjoy the wind while watching the sunset and, perhaps, a decently entertaining conversation too, the child starts whining about candy. He wants candy and he wants it now. The father tries to discipline his offspring by denying him the sweets that he so emphatically demands, while the mother pretends to be occupied with other stuff just to avoid having to deal with her son.

His father does his best to ensure his authority but the little munchkin throws a tantrum with his high-pitched voice in clear hopes of getting what he wants by driving his parents insane and, much to our demise, us as well. The pint-sized monster frenetically kicks things, including the plastic cups filled with the sparkling fruity concoction which fly everywhere, spilling the liquid over all present beings.

Right when things seemed to get out of control and your mind was digesting the atrocious idea of spending a couple of hours with the child of terror and his helpless parents, the enabler that he has as an uncle, which happens to be the guy that invited you, your friend, takes a bag full of candies out of a backpack and handles it to his nephew.

The father is less than thrilled to see the sweets on his son’s little hands as he understands that, in mere seconds, he lost all his ability to implement discipline. The child opens the bag and starts to engulf the vanilla flavored candies and sugar coated nuts, one by one, until there is nothing left in the bag. Suddenly you realize that the air smells a little too sweet thanks to the confections and the dried sparkling drink that bathed everything and everybody around.

As the mother complains to the uncle about him handling the candies to the spoiled kid, your friend replies by saying: “shut up Nancy, give him twenty minutes and watch”. After twenty-something minutes passed, the kid starts to feel tired and cuddles over a towel, ready to take a nap. All the sugar that he ate took a toll on him. It seems like his batteries ran off. A miracle, he fell asleep!

At this point your brain desperately wants to forget that there is some driftwood close to you that maybe is too covered in algae to be comfortable around, that the kid passed out due to a sugar rush but his clothes, hands and cheeks are all sticky and the poor thing is getting breaded in sand, that the wine dried over yourself, et al.

Your mind would like to pretend that all of these things never happened so you can focus on the sunset and the conversation, and it does. You begin to enjoy the afternoon after all. By the end of the evening you understand that, as uncomfortable as the experience was, you were entertained by the spoiled kid, his out-of-control tantrum and the incapacity of his parents, not to mention your friend the uncle and his witty solution for the incommodity.

Back to the fragrance, the experience of wearing Aqua Kenzo Pour Homme is just like the story above. It will not be liked by many people, as there is nothing fresh about it as erroneously promised and it can be a tad too sweet, but I confess that its gourmand character juxtaposed to the iodine-fueled aquatic opening amuses me, no matter how questionable that makes me look. It is not every day that you find a love child of Cool Water and Pink Sugar, and that’s why I bought it. Besides, to be honest, it dries into a fairly decent vanilla, although synthetic and somewhat nutty. Oh, and the bottle is very nice.

Name: Aqua Kenzo Pour Homme
House: Kenzo
Concentration: Eau de toilette
Nose: Ane Ayo and Philippe Romano
Release Year: 2018
Category: Aquatic gourmand

Reviewed Batch: circa 2018
From personal colletion.

One thought on “Candy Monster on the Beach: Kenzo – Aqua Kenzo Pour Homme Review

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